Plants and Birds and Rocks and Things.Without fear of infamy I answer you.
eleeut
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Name: Elliott
Country: United States
Gender: Male


Interests: understanding disconnected people. redemption. running. music in (nearly) all forms.
Occupation: PAPER SHUFFLER EXTRAORDINAIRE


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Member Since: 7/16/2005
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Friday, October 30, 2009

Currently
Foxbase Alpha
By Saint Etienne
Nothing Can Stop Us Now
see related

Emerging from the Doldrums Part II

A year passes quickly.   Who knew that I would be taken down a pathway that I never imagined traveling.  Even while many have said it's been a hard year for my family, oddly enough it's still one of which we can be thankful.  I've become closer with my family and learned to value people even more than I already did before.  Most importantly,  I've been earnestly developing a relationship with God.

This time when I was lost, I trusted.  Even if I might never find my way out of the woods, I know I can trust the one who has been guiding me.   I've learned that I can't control everything.  I've learned to not be so afraid of the unknown and not to worry so much.  I've learned to act on opportunities as they avail themselves upon me.   I'm learning to take risks.  I'm learning how to down-tune and to focus.   I'm learning to live intentionally and with a purpose.  I'm learning to forgive.

It's strange process to say the least, one that drips by, day by day.  However, I've come back to life.  I think I realized it when I started to share music with people again, which had been something that I used to love doing so much before.   Additionally, I've taken on new projects that I might not have had everything gone as expected.  

I hope I can share the things that I've learned.  I've been blessed with a lot; the companion question to this understanding is what do I do with what I've been blessed with.   Hard experiences can yield valuable insight, and I'm learning how to use this what I formerly believed were ugly scars to be hidden.  What I thought was a piece of crap life that I've led in actuality is something of value.

++++++++   

To the those whom I've been engaging with over the past year, I'm moved to tears when I think of you.  To those who have been and continue to minister to me, thank you.  The journey is not over though, and I know that more is to come.  For each of us. 

I am alive and not dead. 

++++++++

NB

May I be able to offer myself as a living sacrifice; may I continue to be transformed; may I be able to test and approve His good, pleasing and perfect will.


Friday, September 04, 2009

Currently
The Doldrums
By Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
the doldrums
see related

Emerging from the Doldrums

emerging from hazes.  i'm tired a lot, not so much physically, but emotionally.  but i'm seeing direction.  along with the joy and hope comes the process of sanctification.  the only thing i can do is be faithful and obedient.  it's not about what i want, but what God wants.  following the disciplines is to make myself available to be moved by the HS and changed in time, though i still struggle with being faithful.  my salvation in not earned, but granted through grace. 

where do i go from here?  i've been taken care of, and i know i will continue to be taken care of.  what do i do with what i've been blessed with?


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Currently
New Age of Earth
By Ashra
Sunrain
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Bret Easton Ellis

Sometimes, you have to take a look at the darkside to contemplate the predicament of our humanity.  As of recent, I’ve been tearing through some of Bret Easton Ellis works, including American Psycho, The Rules of Attraction and his debut, Less Than Zero.  Derided by many as graphic and shocking, the compelling desperation featured in each of these works demands closer inspection and contemplation.  On one level, I believe Ellis provides a commentary on the tireless pursuit of the American dream taken to the extreme.  Consequentially, we are left with generations of broken families and broken lives, with the young who want to be numbed and feel nothing, staring straight into dead-ends, finding escape in empty sex, drugs and in Patrick Bateman’s case, inhumane and vicious violence.  Though Ellis’s characters know there is something horribly wrong with their lives, each of them seem powerless to change themselves.  Finding these characters as they are breaks my heart.  It’s the young who need to have supportive relationships the most, yet the parents found in these works are too absorbed in their own lives to be involved and even begin to find out what is going on in the lives of their children.   

 

Again, while these depictions are pushed to the extreme, modern living pushes us to find fulfillment in living for ourselves.  The abdication of parental responsibility is almost inexcusable.  Go ahead and live your life.  Your child may end up cursed.  

 

NB.

 

We are a broken people.  We need God to be in our lives.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Currently
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
By Junot Díaz
see related

Hard Way Every Time

Yeah, I've had my share of broken dreams
And more than a couple of falls
And in chasin' what I thought were moonbeams
I have run into a couple of walls
But in looking back at the places I've been
The changes that I've left behind
I just look at myself to find
I've learned the hard way every time

'Cause I've had my share of good intentions
And I've made my share of mistakes
And I've learned at times it's best to bend
'Cause if you don't well those are the breaks
Should have listened to all the things I was told
But I was young and too proud at the time
Now I look at myself to find
I learn the hard way ev'ry time

But in looking back at the lessons I've learned
And the mountains I wanted to climb
I just look at myself to find
I've learned the hard way ev'ry time

'Cause I've had my share of broken dreams
And more than a couple of falls
And in chasin' what I thought were moonbeams
I have run into a couple of walls
But in looking back at the faces I've been
I would sure be the first one to say
When I look at myself today
Wouldn'ta done it any other way

- Jim Croce

Many thoughts on various things bubbling.  Scars.  Ghosts.  Recovery.  Restoration. 

Separate posts to follow.

Doc review life hasn't been bad recently.  Learning about investing too.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Currently
Cardinology
By Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
Natural Ghost
see related

Almost 2 Days in France

I was invited to a wedding to be held in Chissay-en-Touraine located approximately 250 km southwest of Paris in the Loire Valley.  While I'd been to England twice before many years ago, this would be my first time to Europe proper.  I'd booked this trip back in January, but knew it had to be short.  After a two leg flight out of DCA through JFK, I arrived at Charles de Gaulle about 12:00 pm last Friday.  After clearing immigration, I met up my brother who had just flown in from Cleveland by way of Cincinnati on Delta. 

 

After a quick but not so cheap 45 EUR meal, including 4 espressos, a pork stew and *french* andouille sausage (intestines + stomach + natural casing), we went to pick up a rental.  At the end of processing the booking, we discovered the Opel my brother originally booked was a manual, something neither of us patsies could handle.*  We were then given the available automatic options of either a Clio or a BMW 3 series which were, as per the agent, going for about the same rate.  Upon accepting that unlikelihood, the decision was a real no brainer.  After getting to the car, we played around with the on-board GPS, which as far as we could tell only had a French language setting. Luckily enough my bro still remembered enough from his 7th Grade French class to figure out how to plot in the address.  I was a little apprehensive about driving at first due to my impression that the French drove on the left side of the road.  Happily, the impression was incorrect.

 

* Obvious note to self here.

 

DRIVE

 

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Our Rented Chariot (Courtesy of FKH)

 

We come from a driving family, so if there is an option of driving to a destination, it will be considered favorably.  I always enjoy long drives with my brother, whom I've taken many long drives with, including crossing US back and forth in 2.5 day time spans each way.  Without exception, this drive down was extremely enjoyable.  For the first part, we listened to a selection of songs by the French duo Air on the Late Night Tales series, then switching onto the local radio to check out what was being played on the French airwaves.  After leaving the more dense clusters of Friday afternoon traffic on the A3 and A6 en route out of the Paris suburbs, we could really blast down the A10.  While drafting off of some other fellow drivers, we cruised at speeds up to 200 kmph.  

 

I had a mild case of culture shock during the drive.  In the US, you'll observe a few stray Europeans on travels at a rest-stop.  Upon a few steps into a convenience store at rest-stop off the A10, which appeared no different than a counterpart in the US, I was taken aback when I was surrounded by well dressed and groomed Europeans.  Even the clerks were wearing hip glasses.  Our sales clerk also sneezed politely.  I think I just got thrown off by seeing so many Europeans in a store that looked like it was off the Pennsylvania Turnpike. 

 

The French countryside is truly beautiful.  While approaching our destination, the sky became much clearer, with scents of the fields of flowers pouring in through the cracked open windows.  After paying the walloping 17.90 EUR toll from the A10, we pulled onto a series of smaller country roads that led us over a river, through some woods, and then traversing some rolling hills to cross more lush green fields, all of which reminded us of our native Virginia.  The town of Chissay-en-Touraine was something to behold as well, with its narrow streets and quaint buildings.  

 

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Captured Locality (Courtesy of FKH)

 

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Blue French Skies (Nevermind the stray tanker!)

 

 

CHATEAU DE CHISSAY

 

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Le Chateau

 

The wedding ceremony was held at church within a 5 minute walk from Chateau de Chissay.  I won’t go into detail about the ceremony or reception (see my brother’s post for that one), but the whole of it was definitely something to be remembered.  I will say that I had enough Foie Gras to last several lifetimes and rang the church bells at the end of the ceremony.  Also, there was about a 10 minute firework show at the end!

 

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The Church

 

 

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En Route from the Rehearsal

 

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Nocturnal Splendor

 

While the US is abound w/ bed and breakfast type establishments, France (as with other parts of Europe) has chateaus and castles, with rooms set in habitable caves, towers, and anywhere else you can imagine that may be in such structures.  Yes, an excursion to such a place may cost a bit, but if you can swing it, it can definitely be memorable. 

 

DEPARTURE

 

We rose early at about 6:30 am on Sunday morning and jumped back into the car to head back to Paris, as we had early flights back to the US.  This time, we had with us another 3 of the guests.  Again, we touched speeds near 200 kmph while on the way back and made it back to Paris in about 2 hours.  Unfortunately, we didn’t plug the airport address back into the GPS, so we went on a 30 minute detour inside Paris proper.  After some cold sweat and then getting back on track, we did actually see Eiffel tower, albeit only for a few seconds while flying east bound on the A6!

 

We somehow made it on time for me to check in to my flight back.  Unfortunately, someone who caught a ride with us missed hers by 5 minutes.   In the rush, I also left my Air disc in the player of the BMW......  The flight back wasn't so bad and I made it to my abode in the Greater DC area at around 7pm EST and still made a full 11+ hour day of work on Monday with a smiling face and a chipper attitude.  Bloisaaargh!!!!!  The trip was far too short.

 

Though I’d never been so hot about France, my interest in exploring more of it has been piqued.  I didn't meet anyone who seemed like they might have a few mean and nasty things to say to us Americans. Then again, we weren't in Paris.  So now, while considering the possibilities of all the sites, both now known and unknown to me, I'm telling myself....

 

"Next time, definitely!"

 

NB

 

As a closing thought, I'm still not surprised as to why Americans get such a bad rep outside of the states.  While going through pre-boarding clearance back to JFK, the passenger in front of me became indignant and expressed serious impatience when asked routine security questions about his carry on luggage.

 

"I don't speak any French!" he declared.

 

"I am speaking to you in English," responded the agent, who had been speaking to him in English, albeit with some moderate French inflections.   

 

This agent then flashed a quick sideways glance to another colleague standing right by.   Ironically, it seemed that English wasn't the passengers first language either.   When it came to my turn, I responded politely and smiled and moved through without a snag. 

 

 



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