Our family has never been too big on regular cultural traditions, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, the 4th of July, etc... As for this holiday, I can't even remember the last time we had did a turkey together, or traveled to a relatives place for a grand gathering. During Christmas time, songs like "Over the River and Through the Woods" never had meaning for me. Perhaps that's what happens when your closest "close" relatives reside in places no closer than 450+ miles away. Even when visiting our relatives around the world, we never arrived at a destination during cultural holidays, so no analogous experiences there either. For that matter, we aren't even really big on Chinese traditions either.
While we do spend a fair amount of time with one another, my immediate family doesn't put too much energy into such aforementioned traditional holidays. Furthermore, we generally don't plan big "to-dos" at all. Holidays, as well as birthdays plus other events ordinarily considered significant, are usually just another day. We travel spontaneously and frequently enough so family trips might not have the same kind of significance as they do with others. Perhaps it is these reasons, coupled with the immigrant experience that led us to not invest so much into "local customs," which result in a sense of normlessness. And again, perhaps there's more to it than that as well. Growing up, I never really noticed anything out of the ordinary. During my last relationship, however, I began getting used to the idea of these traditions accompanied with the big family gatherings. Perhaps that's why this Thanksgiving I feel something missing a bit more acutely, particularly with the smells of turkey emanating through my building and knowing that people are traveling around the country just spend a special day, or maybe even a special few hours, with one another.
Each day, I'm generally thankful already for my family and the blessings that are in our lives. I'm thankful for the days that I have on this earth and the opportunities that come upon us. I'm thankful for the friends that I have, who appreciate the richness and complexities of life. Right now, I'm particularly thankful for my new job that continues to excite me. (hhahahahahahah, what?!?) Each day has the potential to be an amazing day, and I think it's up to us whether or not we want try and make it so. (and of course, whether it turns out to be so is another matter!)
Regardless, maybe I should encourage our family to do something special this forthcoming Christmas season. It's been a long time since we have.
A few of you know that I've been spending time working with some filmmakers, the Tse Brothers, a/k/a Dragonfish Films. Well, here's a video capturing some audience feedback from a recent screening of their latest short, Yellow Light, at the DC APA Machines, Dreams, and Screams shorts program on October 9, 2009 at the Goethe Institut in Washington, DC. These guys got some chops, but be advised that if you hearing from me at this point, I may be biased already.... =)
A trailer for the actual short can be found here. These guys actually filmed it in HK, so they actually can be called HK filmmakers!
Yellow Light thus far has screened at the Atlanta Underground Film Festival and more recently at the Tenth Annual DCAPA Film Festival hosted by DC APA Film. It may be screening at some additional film festivals in the coming months. If you are on F@CEBOOK, please feel free to join the Dragonfish Films Fanpage for upcoming activities and events. Thanks to all who have been supporting us thus far!
A year passes quickly.Who knew that I would be taken down a pathway that I never imagined traveling.Even while many have said it's been a hard year for my family, oddly enough it's still one of which we can be thankful.I've become closer with my family and learned to value people even more than I already did before. Most importantly, I've been earnestly developing a relationship with God.
This time when I was lost, I trusted. Even if I might never find my way out of the woods, I know I can trust the one who has been guiding me. I've learned that I can't control everything. I've learned to not be so afraid of the unknown and not to worry so much. I've learned to act on opportunities as they avail themselves upon me.I'm learning to take risks.I'm learning how to down-tune and to focus.I'm learning to live intentionally and with a purpose. I'm learning to forgive.
It's strange process to say the least, one that drips by, day by day.However, I've come back to life.I think I realized it when I started to share music with people again, which had been something that I used to love doing so much before. Additionally, I've taken on new projects that I might not have had everything gone as expected.
I hope I can share the things that I've learned.I've been blessed with a lot; the companion question to this understanding is what do I do with what I've been blessed with.Hard experiences can yield valuable insight, and I'm learning how to use this what I formerly believed were ugly scars to be hidden. What I thought was a piece of crap life that I've led in actuality is something of value.
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To the those whom I've been engaging with over the past year, I'm moved to tears when I think of you.To those who have been and continue to minister to me, thank you. The journey is not over though, and I know that more is to come.For each of us.
I am alive and not dead.
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May I be able to offer myself as a living sacrifice; may I continue to be transformed; may I be able to test and approve His good, pleasing and perfect will.
emerging from hazes. i'm tired a lot, not so much physically, but emotionally. but i'm seeing direction. along with the joy and hope comes the process of sanctification. the only thing i can do is be faithful and obedient. it's not about what i want, but what God wants. following the disciplines is to make myself available to be moved by the HS and changed in time, though i still struggle with being faithful. my salvation in not earned, but granted through grace.
where do i go from here? i've been taken care of, and i know i will continue to be taken care of. what do i do with what i've been blessed with?
Sometimes, you have to take a look at the darkside to contemplate the predicament of our humanity. As of recent, I’ve been tearing through some of Bret Easton Ellis works, including American Psycho, The Rules of Attraction and his debut, Less Than Zero. Derided by many as graphic and shocking, the compelling desperation featured in each of these works demands closer inspection and contemplation. On one level, I believe Ellis provides a commentary on the tireless pursuit of the American dream taken to the extreme. Consequentially, we are left with generations of broken families and broken lives, with the young who want to be numbed and feel nothing, staring straight into dead-ends, finding escape in empty sex, drugs and in Patrick Bateman’s case, inhumane and vicious violence. Though Ellis’s characters know there is something horribly wrong with their lives, each of them seem powerless to change themselves.Finding these characters as they are breaks my heart. It’s the young who need to have supportive relationships the most, yet the parents found in these works are too absorbed in their own lives to be involved and even begin to find out what is going on in the lives of their children.
Again, while these depictions are pushed to the extreme, modern living pushes us to find fulfillment in living for ourselves.The abdication of parental responsibility is almost inexcusable.Go ahead and live your life. Your child may end up cursed.
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We are a broken people. We need God to be in our lives.
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